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Funny/Boring Jokes Thread
anis91Date: Sunday, 2011-09-25, 8:40 PM | Message # 1
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post any boring/funny jokes here
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I
Teacher:give me a sentence starting with I
Student:I is the...
Teacher:STOP! Never put an "is" after an "I", use "am"
Student:ok, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet
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bathroom
Johnny:teacher, can i go to the bathroom?
Teacher:Jhonny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Johnny:But i asked 1st!
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24 hours
Doctor(on the phone): umm...hello, is this Petter John?
Petter:yes, are u my doctor?
Doctor:yes, i have a good news and a bad news for you sir
Petter:tell me the good news 1st
Doctor:you have 24hours to live
Petter:Oh no! if that is the good new, then what's the bad new
Doctor:i forgot to call you yesterday.


Message edited by anis91 - Sunday, 2011-09-25, 8:44 PM
 
VizDate: Sunday, 2011-09-25, 11:04 PM | Message # 2
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Here's a joke for you: Women's rights.

Ba dum tsh.
 
anis91Date: Sunday, 2011-09-25, 11:40 PM | Message # 3
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Quote (Viz)
Here's a joke for you: Women's rights.

Ba dum tsh.
ROFLOL
------------------
what??!!
knot=hello
john=hello this is watt
knot=i'm sry, what's your name?
john=yes, watt's my name
knot=is this a joke?what is your name?
john=john watt
knot=john what?
john=yes look, is this james?
knot=no i am knot
(after 20 secs)
john=are you going to tell me your name?
knot=i am knot
john=why not?
knot=not what?!

to beginners: to get it focus on bold words
 
BladeStorm_XDate: Monday, 2011-09-26, 10:55 AM | Message # 4
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Here's a joke

Son: Dad can you sign in the dark?
Father: Yes, but why?
Son: You need to sign my report card.
 
anis91Date: Monday, 2011-09-26, 8:49 PM | Message # 5
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Quote (BladeStorm_X)
Son: Dad can you sign in the dark?
Father: Yes, but why?
Son: You need to sign my report card.
HAH OMG!!

i have some other ones
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No More Trust?
1st guy: there isn't any more trust in the world
2nd guy: how is that?
1st guy: i went to steel my dad's wallet, so i find mine in his pocket!!
---------------------
Sir
worker 1: you see that guy with blonde hair there, is it a boy?or a girl
worker 2: she's a girl
worker 1: how did you know?
worker 2: she's my daughter
worker 1: oh, i'm sorry Sir, i didn't know you were her father
worker 2: no i'm not, i'm her mother
 
-MB-Date: Tuesday, 2011-09-27, 1:00 PM | Message # 6
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hahaha nice jokes guys
 
anis91Date: Saturday, 2012-01-14, 8:40 PM | Message # 7
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what's this



Added (2012-01-14, 8:40 PM)
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i got a so unfunny joke

there was a thief, waiting in front of a old lady's house, and she was combing her hair, so he said:i will w8 until she finishes, and so he waited, and waited and waited, and he slept there, so woke up when he felt the light being turned off, he was very happy, so he entred the house, looked and messed, but did't find anything, so he messed up her hair and ran away


Message edited by anis91 - Saturday, 2012-01-14, 8:41 PM
 
-MB-Date: Saturday, 2012-01-14, 8:47 PM | Message # 8
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Eh not too funny
heres one:

In heaven together we were in a big hall.
An Angel told us to write our sins before going in,
but before I could start writing any thing
I heard you calling for 'EXTRA SHEET'.
 
anis91Date: Saturday, 2012-01-14, 10:46 PM | Message # 9
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Quote (-MB-)
Eh not too funny

Quote (-MB-)
i got a so unfunny joke

and lol XD
 
AsterDate: Friday, 2012-01-20, 1:58 PM | Message # 10
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how many saiyans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
JUST ONE. BUT IT'LL TAKE 20 EPISODES TO DO IT!!!
 
anis91Date: Friday, 2012-01-20, 8:44 PM | Message # 11
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not that funny <-<
 
RU-MANDate: Friday, 2012-04-06, 4:15 PM | Message # 12
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Quote (anis91)
knot=hello
john=hello this is watt
knot=i'm sry, what's your name?
john=yes, watt's my name
knot=is this a joke?what is your name?
john=john watt
knot=john what?
john=yes look, is this james?
knot=no i am knot
(after 20 secs)
john=are you going to tell me your name?
knot=i am knot
john=why not?
knot=not what?!

it is d bst

Added (2012-04-06, 4:06 PM)
---------------------------------------------
A family comes out of an electronic shop.
son holds "IPHONE"...Daughter holds "IPOD"
mother holds "IPAD".........AND FATHER HOLDS A BANNER SAYING "IPAID"

Added (2012-04-06, 4:09 PM)
---------------------------------------------
A black baby is given a pair of wings by god...
He smiles and asks "Does this mean i am an angel now?"
god laughed....
he said "not that young boy, u are a batman now!!!"

Added (2012-04-06, 4:11 PM)
---------------------------------------------
Teacher:Tintu what is the full form of class?Tintumon:C-ComeL-LateA-AndS-StartS-Sleeping

Added (2012-04-06, 4:12 PM)
---------------------------------------------
Docter to tintumon:u will die
within 2 hours.Do u want to see any
one before u die?
Tintumon:Yes,A GOOD DOCTER

Added (2012-04-06, 4:13 PM)
---------------------------------------------
Tintu was standing below a tube
light with mouth wide open....
WHY??
Because his doctor advised him:
Today`s dinner should be light...

Added (2012-04-06, 4:15 PM)
---------------------------------------------
Why do bosses prefer round table
conferences? So that no1 can corner
them.

 
-MB-Date: Friday, 2012-04-06, 4:22 PM | Message # 13
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Nice
Here are a couple of them:

Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall:
"Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!
---------------------------------------------------

Man 1: After buying this new hearing aid, I am able to hear something two blocks away.
Man 2: Cool, how much did it cost?
Man 1: The time is three past ten.
---------------------------------------------------
 
RU-MANDate: Friday, 2012-04-06, 4:33 PM | Message # 14
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lol

Added (2012-04-06, 4:27 PM)
---------------------------------------------
i got another one

Added (2012-04-06, 4:28 PM)
---------------------------------------------
there were a group of mad people in a mental institution so they wanted to test wether their minds were working properly so that they would be discharged out of the hospital. so the mental doctors drew a door on a wall and said everyone should pass through that door and the mad ones all ran and rushed and bumbed the door and 1 of them did not go there and the mental doctors asked him why and were suprised by the answer "he said i am the one who is having the keys to that door.

Added (2012-04-06, 4:29 PM)
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There was these 3 guys. They were named Shutup, Manners and Poop. Manners was picking up Poop from school. Shutup got pulled over by a cop. The cop says "Whats your name sir?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Wheres your manners boy?" "Over there picking up poop."

Added (2012-04-06, 4:30 PM)
---------------------------------------------
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

Added (2012-04-06, 4:33 PM)
---------------------------------------------
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

 
anis91Date: Friday, 2012-04-06, 9:47 PM | Message # 15
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Quote (RU-MAN)
A family comes out of an electronic shop.
son holds "IPHONE"...Daughter holds "IPOD"
mother holds "IPAD".........AND FATHER HOLDS A BANNER SAYING "IPAID"

Quote (-MB-)
Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall:
"Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!
i know these too from FB,
srsly guys, your jokes were hilarious xD
-----------------------------
man:god how much is a billion years for you
god:a minute
man:how much is a billion dollars to you
god: a penny
man: god can i have a penny, plz?
god:*changing into trollface* in a minute
-----------------------------
1:there were 500 bricks on a plane, one fell how many left?
2:easy it's 499
1: how to put an elephant in a fridge on 3 steps?
2: open the door-put the elephant-close the door
1:good! next question, how to put a deer in a fridge on 4 steps?
2:open fridge-take out elephant-put deer-close fridge
1:excellent! the lion king made a party, everyone came except for the deer, why?
2: she's still in the fridge
1:fantastic, this is the semi final question, there were 200 crocodiles in a river, how could an old lady pass?
2:meh easy, she just passes, cause they are still in the party
1:LAST QUESTION, YOU ANSWER, YOU WIN BILLIONS OF $$, the old lady died anyways, why?
2: umm... i guess she drowned
1:nope, the brick fell on her head, sry you lost!!!
2: FUUUUUUUU-
 
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